Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Jamaican Me Look Bad
One of my downfalls in life is my inability to understand Jamaicans. They have a very thick, flavorful, and unique accent, that unfortunately for me, I cannot deceifer. I don't mean this to be demeaning or racist and I apologize if it is interpreted that way. Contrarily, this is exclusively my problem that I have to resolve and work around.
This is relevant because a very nice Jamaican woman cuts my hair. Every month, I anxiously walk into the poorly named SuperCuts not knowing what the outcome is going to be. Sometimes she asks me it I want "dee flip" which is jamaican hair jargon for "I'm gonna fuck up your head." I know this first hand because I got the aforementioned flip once and my school gave me demerits. However, she usually just asks me a series of rapid fire questions that may or may not be yes or no. My response: yes, to every single one of them. I have finally figured out that if I say "yes" seven times uninterrupted, I usually get a cut that is somewhat presentable. However, six or eight yeses leaves my hair looking patchy and my ears bloody.
Well today I went in there needing to make sure I said yes seven times uninterrupted. I had had enough, after dozens of bad hair cuts and several stitches, I was dew for a good cut (terrible). Our conversation today sounded a litte something like this as interpreted by me:
Jamaican Lady: Allo
Me: Yes (#1)
JL: Ow are you tada?
Me: Yes (#2)
JL: Wha your name be hon?
Me: Yes (#3)
JL: (laughing) Ah, so you a yes mon?
Me: Yes (#4)
JL: You wan to take a see ova dere?
Me: Yes (#5)
JL: You wan you hair cut shore?
Me Yes (#6)
JL: You want dee flip?
Me: Fuck
Consequently my hair doesn't look so good. You might ask, "Brown, why don't you just take your business elsewhere?" Well, because I know that she has at least one good cut in her and I have come too far to miss it. Although I have asked for somebody else before but the girl that they gave me had band-aids all over her hands and half-way into the cut I heard her say "Shit, not again." The result: a terrible, unsanitary cut. Anyway, I am off to Virginia for the weekend for a wedding and will be staying at a place called the Boars Head Inn (so at least there will be thinly sliced meat). Again, I encourage all of you who read this to post and let me know how you are doing. Hope all is well and take care.
This is relevant because a very nice Jamaican woman cuts my hair. Every month, I anxiously walk into the poorly named SuperCuts not knowing what the outcome is going to be. Sometimes she asks me it I want "dee flip" which is jamaican hair jargon for "I'm gonna fuck up your head." I know this first hand because I got the aforementioned flip once and my school gave me demerits. However, she usually just asks me a series of rapid fire questions that may or may not be yes or no. My response: yes, to every single one of them. I have finally figured out that if I say "yes" seven times uninterrupted, I usually get a cut that is somewhat presentable. However, six or eight yeses leaves my hair looking patchy and my ears bloody.
Well today I went in there needing to make sure I said yes seven times uninterrupted. I had had enough, after dozens of bad hair cuts and several stitches, I was dew for a good cut (terrible). Our conversation today sounded a litte something like this as interpreted by me:
Jamaican Lady: Allo
Me: Yes (#1)
JL: Ow are you tada?
Me: Yes (#2)
JL: Wha your name be hon?
Me: Yes (#3)
JL: (laughing) Ah, so you a yes mon?
Me: Yes (#4)
JL: You wan to take a see ova dere?
Me: Yes (#5)
JL: You wan you hair cut shore?
Me Yes (#6)
JL: You want dee flip?
Me: Fuck
Consequently my hair doesn't look so good. You might ask, "Brown, why don't you just take your business elsewhere?" Well, because I know that she has at least one good cut in her and I have come too far to miss it. Although I have asked for somebody else before but the girl that they gave me had band-aids all over her hands and half-way into the cut I heard her say "Shit, not again." The result: a terrible, unsanitary cut. Anyway, I am off to Virginia for the weekend for a wedding and will be staying at a place called the Boars Head Inn (so at least there will be thinly sliced meat). Again, I encourage all of you who read this to post and let me know how you are doing. Hope all is well and take care.
# posted by Uncle D. @ 4:09 PM 
Comments:
<< Home
Can I get your first name only and your birthdate please. Ya hahahaha.
I don't mean to be nosy, but who are all these people, outside influences hanging around the moon card?
Ooohh my goodness.
I don't mean to be nosy, but who are all these people, outside influences hanging around the moon card?
Ooohh my goodness.
# posted by 
: 5:21 PM
: 5:21 PM
DBrown- Are you aware that there is a short (but no less pathetic) thread of posts questioning the legitimacy of your famed "10 years Slater" article? One smarty cites Warren Littlefield's emeritus status at NBC as evidence that the article is in fact a fraud.
Google "years Slater" (in quotes) and it should be the first hit.
I have your blog link on my bookmarks bar and i'm anxiously awaiting the next installment.
"The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last."
Post a Comment
Google "years Slater" (in quotes) and it should be the first hit.
I have your blog link on my bookmarks bar and i'm anxiously awaiting the next installment.
"The suspense is terrible. I hope it'll last."
# posted by : 12:45 PM
: 12:45 PM << Home
