Monday, September 15, 2008
I Can’t Help But Look At T-Pain
However, as I recently flipped through the channels, I stumbled upon a music video subtly entitled “I’m In Love With a Stripper” featuring an interesting character named T-Pain. Nominally, it seemed that he had experienced a lifetime of anguish and heartbreak, so I was intrigued by his message
I was touched by how eloquently he expounded upon the depth of his love for this stripper. You could immediately sense that he was tired of being single and would happily spend his life with someone who stuffed them in her undergarments. By the end of his ballad, T-Pain, not unlike his desired life partner, flaunted his vulnerability and was left emotionally naked.
After the video concluded, I instantly began scouring the Internet to find out more about this explicitly romantic songsmith. A brief search revealed that T-Pain’s talents are genetic and that his great grandfather, Model-T Pain, was one of hip-hop’s founding baby daddies. This tidbit proved quite enlightening as I previously thought that the blonde girl from Blondie had invented rap in the early 1980’s.
My research revealed that this gentleman is off T-Chain
Below are the lyrics to his underground boom era classic which seemingly shares similar themes and motifs with his great-grandson’s modern day smash.:
“I’m in Love with a Flapper” by Model T-Pain
Spoken over Music:
Don’t you know you’re the only dame for me
You’ve got my heart returning to Normalcy
(I’m in love with a Flapper)
She dancing, she smoking, she voting,
She sniffin that coke and
(I’m in love with a flapper)
Dame you’re anything but boring
Can’t you feel that you got my 20’s Roaring
It is late at night and I’m on a mission,
To have a stiff drink and defy Prohibition
So I go to the Jazz club and pull up a stool
And there you are dancing and I stare like a fool
The Charleston, the Bunny Hug and the Black Bottom
Those are all the latest moves and dame have you got them
When the music stops you don’t even think,
You see a man about a dog and order a drink
Slowly Sippin on that whiskey you look like a vandal
Like Tea Pot Dome, you’re such a scandal
I look at the bar mirror to make sure I’m dapper
Cause I am pretty sure I falling in love with a flapper
(I’m in love with a Flapper)
She dancing, she smoking, she voting,
She sniffin that coke and
(I’m in love with a flapper)
Dame you’re anything but boring
Can’t you feel that you got my 20’s Roaring
I can see you’re shin now so please stop teasing me
You’re so untouchable but I want you to raid my speakeasy
With that hat on your head and that short bobbed hair
I want to touch you right now so let’s forget Laissez-Faire
Our eyes finally meet and my mind starts to wonder
If you’ll let me drop your tariffs like Fordney-McCumber
My heart is racing like a stock ticker and I feel kind of dizzy
As you ask me if you can drive my Tin Lizzie
We get in the car and you whisper in my ear
“I can’t wait to play with your planetary gear”
You’re driving me crazy dame, I’m begging you please
Let me take off those Cat’s Pajamas and get you down on your Bees Knees
(I’m in love with a Flapper)
She dancing, she smoking, she voting,
She sniffin that coke and
(I’m in love with a flapper)
Dame you’re anything but boring
Researching this topic proved quite invigorating and I implore each of you to step out from the 42 inch flat screened box and spend time looking up nonsense on your computer. Hope all is well with everyone and take care.
