Sunday, September 11, 2005
O.C. d
It happens too infrequently. This weekend, the STARZ movie network offered the viewing public a veritable pink spoon and served up an enjoyable, but fleeting, free preview weekend. I sat there mesmerized as I saw hit after hit movie that HBO, Showtime, and Skin-a-max said thanks but no thanks to. The litany reads a little something like this: White Chicks (as far as I am concerned the list could have started and ended here), The Alamo (or as Billy Bob Thorton calls it Bad Santa Anna), and the crap de gras Mr. 3000. Perhaps the network would have enticed the public to order its services if it had ran a movie that had a bit more action, even worse acting, and a more viable box office superstar--maybe something like 2 Fast 2 Furious.
This movie, although I have never seen it, has all of these and a bit more. The title, although seeminglt clever, suggests that the producers were not sure which was gramatically correct, "to" or "too", when naming their feature. Further, it has Paul Walker and his deep and penetrating varsity blue eyes. Finally shedding himself of the overly versatile Vin Diesel, Walker further immerses himself into a 2-dimensional, yet complex character who likes to drive fast cars and sleep with women. This movie has become the standard for all Paul Walker movies are to be judged that my friend Tully and I have devised a game to re-name all of his other movies according to the 2 and 2 format. For example, under the auspices of this game The Skulls could be referred to as 2 Fast 2 Curious. Do you see how it works? All that has to be done is too keep either Fast or Furious in the new title and add another word that is descriptive of the Paul Walker movie that is to be renamed. Here is what Tully and I have come up with so far:
2 Fast 2 Furious = 2 Fast 2 Infuriating or 2 Ass 2 Furious
Timeline = 2 Past 2 Furious
Varsity Blues = 2 Pass 2 Furious
Into the Blue = 2 Bass 2 Furious
For all who want to play, here are other prominent movies that have yet to be named: Joy Ride, She's All That, and Pleasantville. Feel free to post.
On another note, The O.C. season premiere wrapped up last season's cliffhangers to a satisfying conclusion. However, it did pose some surprising new questions. For instance, how was Chino able to get a hair cut and still beat his brother to the emergency room? Furthermore, JuJu is becoming all the more deplorable. Now in the words of the politically conscious yet modest Kanye West, I am not saying she is a gold digger. But I am saying that she is more of a grave digger. She pretty much killed Newport Magazine's Man of the Year and was about to give Chino Sr. a pillow nap.
Also, I know alot has been said about the Sandman's eyebrows, however Peter Gallagher intimated in an interview recently that distinguished eyebrows are a sign of power and intestinal fortitude. This is actually true. Super Mario also possessed huge eyebrows and he 'shroomed four times each level. Anyway, I hope all is well, and once again I encourage all that actually read this blog to post and let me know how they are doing. Take care
This movie, although I have never seen it, has all of these and a bit more. The title, although seeminglt clever, suggests that the producers were not sure which was gramatically correct, "to" or "too", when naming their feature. Further, it has Paul Walker and his deep and penetrating varsity blue eyes. Finally shedding himself of the overly versatile Vin Diesel, Walker further immerses himself into a 2-dimensional, yet complex character who likes to drive fast cars and sleep with women. This movie has become the standard for all Paul Walker movies are to be judged that my friend Tully and I have devised a game to re-name all of his other movies according to the 2 and 2 format. For example, under the auspices of this game The Skulls could be referred to as 2 Fast 2 Curious. Do you see how it works? All that has to be done is too keep either Fast or Furious in the new title and add another word that is descriptive of the Paul Walker movie that is to be renamed. Here is what Tully and I have come up with so far:
2 Fast 2 Furious = 2 Fast 2 Infuriating or 2 Ass 2 Furious
Timeline = 2 Past 2 Furious
Varsity Blues = 2 Pass 2 Furious
Into the Blue = 2 Bass 2 Furious
For all who want to play, here are other prominent movies that have yet to be named: Joy Ride, She's All That, and Pleasantville. Feel free to post.
On another note, The O.C. season premiere wrapped up last season's cliffhangers to a satisfying conclusion. However, it did pose some surprising new questions. For instance, how was Chino able to get a hair cut and still beat his brother to the emergency room? Furthermore, JuJu is becoming all the more deplorable. Now in the words of the politically conscious yet modest Kanye West, I am not saying she is a gold digger. But I am saying that she is more of a grave digger. She pretty much killed Newport Magazine's Man of the Year and was about to give Chino Sr. a pillow nap.
Also, I know alot has been said about the Sandman's eyebrows, however Peter Gallagher intimated in an interview recently that distinguished eyebrows are a sign of power and intestinal fortitude. This is actually true. Super Mario also possessed huge eyebrows and he 'shroomed four times each level. Anyway, I hope all is well, and once again I encourage all that actually read this blog to post and let me know how they are doing. Take care
